Becuz...

Yes, children, it seems yet another week has come by. My mom has somehow managed to obsess me with Gad Elbaz (in the worst way) and now i can't stop listening to him. Though I have a feeling that this won't last long, cuz i always blog from my lappy, and my lappy has super-crap lan options. So if I can't get Gad Elbaz from my mom's computer to this one becuz the lappy don't feel like lan networking today, i can't really listen to him. Which will either make me end the obsession or turn into a mutant gerbil. I'm desperately hoping for the mutant gerbil thing, but i don't think it's happening.

FLASH

I bought three new bottles of nailpolish though. AWESOMEST COLORS i gotta say. Yes I'm a full teenager now (complete with zits that make you want to puke!) Problem is...if i'm gonna keep blowing money on nailpolish, i'm gonna need more money. Actually, these bottles were a dollar a piece, and i've got somewhere like 24 sweet american dollars, so i'm not desperate. But still...So that's where my plan comes in....right...here!

...

Kay, i don't got no plan. Maybe I'll be able to like steal my bro's milkshake business when he graduates, but honestly, his highschool is a dorm. Mine isn't. People will not be that desperate for milkshakes. Besides, the seniors would arrange my murder before i'd sold more than three shakes anyway. So that no worky. Uh...huh...(scratches head)...

Come on people help me out!! How can a girl make some money in this joint??!

Milwaukee, WI

53rd street.

mail me something.

Finally!

That's what you were going to say, right? Yes! My pix from miami, with commentary!

Look folks, uh, i accidentely uploaded these backwards, so uh, bear with me here..





I took this by the balcony of our hotel room. The lighting came out horribley, i forgot to turn the flash on. But if I could fix it, this would probably be the cover to my book.

This is an unforgettable picture of me giving shua a tour of my yachts from the balcony, but he made me laugh while he took the picture. Note the necklace, chaii.

Picture my cousins took of me (at their insitance of course. Prolly they were sick of me taking pictures of them) I think it came out good. This could also be a cover for mah book. Note the eyes.YESSSSSSSS...YOU CANNAH RESSSISSSST MEEEEEEE....GIVE ME YOUR MOOOONNNEEEEEEEY....

That's right, zoom in on that picture and you'll find the sign reads 'MANATEE ZONE SLOW SPEED'. (bridge out, slow to 60). I didn't actually see any manatees, but i think their up to something. In any case, we didn't slow down, so we're fine.

Yuh, speedboat. That thing went past us at like sixty miles an hour. The bright green boat is a shipping boat from Hong Kong that just came in. Yup.

The beautiful ocean water of Miami...

These are the bubbles the ship produced. These things drove yonina nuts. She's like 'LOOK AT THE BUUUUBBBLESS!!'. They were very relaxing to watch. (yeah we're on a cruise boat, forgot to mention that part)

Ah yes private island...

My dad videoed (?) the whole ride. I'll try to get the link by the end of this commentary. Or I'll just ask him abawt it.

Das Miami! Cancha tell?

Quite possibly the same speedboat that buzzed us last time...That old man looks like he's enjoying a cold one!

Das Miami beach. We're staying in one of those hotels on the shore over there. Unfourtunately, peeps advised me against bringing my camera to the beach cuz they were afraid it'd get either stolen (by seagulls) or destroyed (by seagulls).

Ah yes, shua making an important phone call from our hotlel balcony...

Cuzzinz. I won't say dare names, i don't think they'd appreiciate it. But those guys were cuuute.

More cuzzinz. This is at a pizza place, btw.

What can be said that isn't painfully obvious? (SQ6)

Yeah...Lobby of our hotel...

You wish you had one of these in your backyard. I swear in miami every building has its own fountain. We drove past like a hundred fountains, but every time i tried to take a picture a car of a jogger got in the way. And in florida, joggers don't WEAR CLOTHES.

A pretty building we passed...I think it's a church.

Palm treeeeeeesss!!!

das it folks. Thanks for bearing with us.

Going to go clean up and grab a snack,

iguana ^-^

hair, you ask? Conquered, I say!

S'true. I have finally found a way to brutally bash in the forces of my hair. Das right. I can now making a spiffing good halfpony that my mom despises but that i think looks good. I was a little self-concious of this walking to shul today with yonina, so i asked her about it.

Me: Yonina, is it better to have everyone but you like your hair, or that you like your hair, but no one else does?

Yonina:...hmmm...that's pretty tough...

Me: (surprised she understood the question) so what do you think?

Yonina: Well, let's look at it this way iguana. Why don't you pull down your hood, and if I say your hair is good, it's probably good.

Me: pulls down hood. So what do you think?

Yonina: it's not ugly.

Me:...well...what does that mean?

Yonina: Well there are two kinds of hairstyles. There's really good, and ugly.

Me: so no in-between?

Yonina: well in-between would be 'okay'.

Me; so is my hair 'okay'?

Yonina: it's not ugly.

Shaken by these words of wisdom spouted by my 8 year old sister, i continued into teh shul. Davening went off without a hitch, cept there was this really inconciderate person davening next to me who didn't feel like davening silently like the rest of the planet. So, instead of focusing on my heavenly prayers, i contented myself by listening to her practically yell in my ear. Trust me, when you're in a huge room, and it's musaf, so no on'es talking, and the person next to you won't daven to themselves, it's pretty loud.

Anyway, that afternoon we had company, so i got out pretty late. I got invited by my frend to go to b'not that shabbat, so i decided to deck it out. When I got there, they were having some kind of sermen about tziniut, which didn't surprise me. In fact, i spent the whole sermon focusing on the fact that i desperately needed a tissue. But ya know, the counselor was really going at it, so I didn't want to interupt. After that we played simon says. So I pretty much know this ain't gonna be a worthwhile investment. My frends assured me that they didn't play simon says every shabbat, but seriously, that was my reason for not going. It's and 8g b'not, what the heck else are they supposed to do? I mean, that's what the little kids do, right?

Anways, after that, me and two frends rounded out to another frend's house to play apples-to apples (or wahtever) then shared embarresing medical stories. Then I went home. Played space quest with Rafs...yeah...

I'm going to miami on monday peeps. I'll post some pictures. I'm bringing this laptop with.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT!!!!

My dad or someone, i really don't know i wasn't there when it happeened, bought the sq series with VOICES!!!!! FINALLY!!! I HAD GIVEN UP HOPE!!!!!!!!! I WILL NEVER HAVE TO READ TONGUE-TWISTERS TO YONINA WHILE PLAYING EVER AGAAAAAAAAIN!!!

Plus, I won't have to read stuff like this; try it, it's not easy:

"From inside the elevator, you can't touch the inlay outlay relay array. You can't even SAY inlay outlay relay array."


going to go watch her bro play modern warfare 2,
iguana W_W (i'm wearing my glasses, those are them pretend)

Happy late new years

and I have a naseau (?) in my stomach.

Yes, it's been a while since I've written. I'm aware my absence has arroused some panic in some of my many followers (pronounced: 'and she had many followers'-Mass Effect), but I am here with a calming message for you all:

DON'T PANIC.

Anyways, back to my action-movie-drama life. I realize now it's 2010. That means I'm 14 now. (my birfday's july 8th, but you get wut i'm sayin). I'M OOOOOOLD!!! I'M GONNA BE A FRESHMAN THIS YEAR!!! I bet all you college types are so proud of me. I'm entering the prime of my life. I recognize this for one reason, mainly. So gamble round the campfire children, I shall tell you a story.

I was leafing through da bookshelf friday night. The boys had just gone to shul, and now I had something of two hours to dwindle away. My mom and bro had thoughtlessly gone to the liberry wifout me, so I had no good books to pore over. So, I scanned the bookshelves for anything that I hadn't already reread several million times, and I paused. I found a book I didn't recognize, so I pulled it out. It turned out to be a photo album. I opened it up and found something mindboggling, but before I get into that I have to tell you the conclusion of the story so you don't have to wonder the whole time and get distracted. Yes, I found a book to read eventually. It was a reread. If I didn't tell you that, there's a chance you would wonder as I told you of my historical find; "Did she ever find anything to read?!".

Back to my historical find. I opened the photo album and found a family portrait labeled in neat blue pen on the bottom: 'Skier family, 1907'. The picture was of a small Russian family, a mother, father, and some boys. The picture was yellowed and frayed at the edges, but other than that it was in incredibly good condition. I could see the faces clearly, and I wondered for a while how these people who shared my name lived over a hundred years ago. I flipped the page. Then the real shock came. There was a beautiful picture of a young woman, labeled 'EDITH SKIER, AGE 13, GRADUATION'. She was wearing a (I think) silky, short sleeved dress, and she held a boquet of flowers. She had short, wavy styled hair (i think that was popular in the 20s), and she was smiling wonderfully (better than I ever could, and I should know). I am nearly 110 percent sure that was her 8th grade graduation, which I am about to experience in June. All that shabbat, I couldn't stop thinking about that picture. She was my age, and graduating, right? We have the same name, but I don't know anything about her. What did she do for fun? What did she eat? Was she popular? Did she enjoying writing, or did she talk a lot? Did she even have my color hair? This was a picture of her as she was entering high school, which I think is one of the most important times in a person's life. It defines who you are going to be when you grow up, and when you leave, it's finally time to start your life as an adult.

With all the technology we have now, it's easy for me to record my teenage years, but think of all those other teenagers living in the 1900s, when life was much different. How much do we know about them? They're all grampas and great grampas, great aunts and uncles, not vibrant young people on their way to complain about school. Or maybe they didn't complain about school, because they saw it as a priveledge instead of a chore. I don't know.

I guess that's the end of the story, children. So now you know. The secret sorcret has been revoiled. Think about that as you walk out the door. And make sure you close it tightly, otherwise the draft gets in, you know.

off to go depress,
iguana o_o

ps, kovs, thanks for signing up.

I survived the fast

I know you were worried. Got nothing to report except I a) finished my dvar toRAH b) my sim family now has 6 kids and c) I watched an episode of animated star trek with my dad last night that featured a piece of paper on the back of Capitan Kirk's shirt reading 'Kirk is a jerk'.

Good tidings citizens.


Going to manage her sims household now,
iguana >_>

Happy fast times, peeps.

Everybody having a good Asarah bih'Tevet (hahaha Rafi haha) ?

Well, I'm not.

I'm not surprised. In every fast I ever have the good grace to partake in, I get a killer migraine. And I'm not talking about those sissy headaches where people are all like 'take a Tylenol and you'll be FINE', I'm talking boot those ones that make you want to either 1) curl up in a ball, 2) make you want to hit your head on a brick wall, 3) kill yourself (possibly by hitting your head on a brick wall) and 4) all of the above. This, ladies and gentleman, I get from....say it with me...

DE-HY-DRA-SHUN!!!!

Yes, the crowds go wild! I'll bet I'm not the only one out there who gets completely moidered by this lack of water every fast! But none of you frummies have blogs, so whateves, ya?

So it's like 10:32 AM. I'm bored. It's just me and the yoninsters here and we're gonna go crazy. And I'll probably eat her at some point, too. I think I'ma animate s'more now. I told my cousin in Israel I was, so I'll be getting back to that now.

PS- twilight song is going strong, on last page.

So long peeps. Try not to die too much.
-boredly, iguana (

Reaching for the coffee, dropping the donut

So here's what I need to/am working on for this week:

-research research report due in a month (for every day of school I come without research I get points deducted from my grade. Don't ask)

-write sock puppet play (for a class)

-ace some tests

-do some grueling homework

-clean my laptop

-learn to play 'River Flows in You' from Twilight for my mom.

I think that's it. Now of course all you college types are like 'WHUT? THAT'S IT? AND YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS!'

Well. I do.

But before that, I need to go over my stunning adventure that cheppened this shabbat. Please; bear with me. Due to the request of a friend, I will write personal narative style, of all I remember. Okay, and a one-two go now


The warmth of the house rushed onto whatever part of my face was not covered as I trudged inside, bringing a nice portion of the landscape with me.

"Boy I am cold, sleepy, and also hungry," I muttered to myself becuz I do this. I yanked off my purple hat and threw it on the couch. Then I carefully began unwinding my purple scarf, and folded it neatly beside my hat. I unzipped my coat, hung it up on the tree, then proceeded to unbutton the sweater I had on underneath. I then pulled off my boots, and attemped to stand them up in the shoe row, but after they had flopped over enough times, I gave up. I now stood in the frozen tundra of the front hallway of our house, wearing a green flowered shabbat robe, some socks, and a green pair of glasses.

"Boy I am sleepy and also hungry," I repeated to myself so I shouldn't forget. I dragged myself into the kitchen and decided on what to eat. I glanced at the clock, and it read 2:35. I had just come back from dropping Yonina off at a playgroup, and now I had an hour (somewhat) of IGUANA time. But iguana was hungry, so she had to make herself a parve snack. But I was cold also, and I thought to myself:

"Hey, why don't I make some oatmeal?"

The original packets are parve, so after a fair bit of rummaging in the pantry, I triumphantly pulled out a dull-blue paper packet of oh'tmeel. I crossed the room to our bowl cabinet, pulled out a small glass dish, tore the packet (on a place with NO WORDS OR PICTURES) and poured the dusty stuff into the dish. I took the dish to our hot water kettle and tipped some of the boiling liquid into the mixture, giving it a soupy look. A horrible smell of rubber and the inside of a macy's filled with kitchen.

"Aw (insert bad word here), this here oh'tmeels got no flavoring!"

It was true. So, setting the foul smelling dish on the table, I decided I would have to flavor the oatmeal myself. But how exactly do you flavor an oatmeal? Honey! I exited the kitchen to our other pantry, and yanked out a half-empty bottle of honey. I took this back to the table, and squeezed a nice dollop of the stuff onto the brown goop. Now it looked like brown goop with some glue on top! I frowned.

"Maybe it will look better after some stirring," I reasoned with myself as the smell of macy's with some honey on it wafted into my nostrils. However, after tasting a spoonful, I saw that not much had improved. 'perhaps I should add sugar,' I thought. So, I turned to the stove and grabbed the tall sugar-shaker we usually use for grapefruit. But when I tried to sprinkle some onto my oatmeal, I slipped a bit, and the glass jerked forward. In a somersault of what can only be described as the best karate kung fu ever performed by sugar-shakers, the small glass did a 180 flip right over my oatmeal, emptying nearly half its contents onto my food before slamming on the other side of the table with a large CLACK. I glanced at the oatmeal. It now had a nice sized mound of sugar on it, dissolving fast. Since I had just had my braces tightened to ultra tight and my teeth were probably most vulnerable, I began to have second thoughts about eating this contraption. But we had a problem- I was still hungry. I stirred in the sugar and took another hearty bite. I chewed thoughtfully. I swallowed.

"Hmm," I said, "grainy, with a touch of burned rubber."

Something was missing. My oatmeal still did not taste like oatmeal. It tasted more like the mall. I have not personally tasted a mall, mind you, I mean it tastes like the way the mall smells (confused yet?). Brown sugar! Those oatmeal packets always have something about brown sugar on the front!

Opening my mom's baking cabinet, I pulled out a full bag of pre-opened brown sugar. I carefully undid the twister at the top, taking note on how to redo it when I was done. I tipped the bag over the dish of oatmeal. Nothing came out. Now ever I know how this goes- tip it too far and ALL the stuff comes out, and my mom would be mad. To avoid that scenario, I crumpled a bit of the sugar closest to the edge and ,pinching the bag carefully, a perfect sized lump of brown sugar plopped onto my mixture. I stirred it in, and the oatmeal grew to a toasty golden color. It finally looked like oatmeal! I hoped this would be the right one...I sealed the brown sugar and put it away in the cabinet, then sat down to my snack. I glanced at the clock. 2:49.

I took a big spoonful. Hmmm...

"Nope, now it just tastes like someone who works at cinnabon just walked into the Macy's."

Well, you can't always win. I bravely gulped down the rest of my cold oatmeal, and went back to the living room to enjoy my last ten minutes of iguana time.


This has been an iguana-flashbacks production. You may now return from the edge of your seats. We hope you enjoyed it, and have a pleasant day.

Also, you look like you could use this fish...(SQ6)