G-d preserve us all

People, I bring bad tidings. Mivosrot ra'ot. Call it what you will (howevah you say bad news in french, my bro speaks it not me).

Brace yourselves.

This is your last chance.


....


I can see you're made of tougher stuff. Here it is: My mom...is...hooked...on....TWILIGHT!!!!
note to twilight fans; turn away now or forever hold your peace (piece).

I have not even READ this book and I despise it! Man I have TWO WORDS to tell the people who read that crap: HELD BACK. REPEATING THE THIRD GRADE. LOW STANDERDIZED TEST SCORES. I GUESS THIS WAS MORE THAN TWO WORDS.

No, that wasn't it. What I meant to say was: TEEN ANGST. FLUFF BY THE TRUCKLOAD. HELD BACK AGAIN. LOW STANDERDIZED TEST SCORES. TEEN ANGST.

If I knew the address for 'twilight in a nutshell', I'd post it here. That thing is like the next harry potter; a book that, through incredible amounts of fluff and teen angst, has broken through the murky barrier of obscurity and somehow become an (inter)national pastime. And now they have my mom. What will I does peeps?! THIS WILL RUIN MY SOCIAL LIFE AS WELL AS MY DIGNITY! I WILL NEVER STEP ONE STEP INSIDE THE HOSPITAL EVER AGAIN (which, mark my words, my back will make me do).

It's one thing to be a teenager and be obsessed with twilight, but it's another thing to be (sorry mom) about twice the age of a teenager and be obsessed with twilight. Really. Teenagers practically LIVE the story of twilight, whereas just a few weeks ago, my mom was reading classical literature about the founding fathers to me outloud (against my will). It has to stop.

Anyone who knows me will say I'm a big hypocrite about this, and say that mom is entitled to her twilight obsession the same way I'm entitled to my space quest obsession. This is not true. I have SEVERAL obsessions to which I'm devoted to, including Space Quest, Laura Bow, Final Fantasy, and Sailor Moon. I am a fangirl. I am also a teenager (you see my argument now, right?) My mom is just a little older than me (really, it's hard to tell!). But...I guess I can be patient. I can try. It's not like this'll be around too long anyway, right? She can't be obsessed to one thing for too long, right? Especially not some teen-angst fluff story, right? So I can try. I'll wait it out, and wear a smile every now and then, just to even things out. Yeah. That's what I'll do.

Maybe a truck will hit me tomorrow on the way to school.




Sighing,
iguana :{