"Irony is my left name, amanda.."

Well folks I had an aboslutely splendid shabbat and I'm gonna share it with each and every one of ya.

Here is a detailed account of the great adventure I undetook this shabbat: (we ate lunch at the goldners, I'm skipping that part)

"Okay, we're going!" I then walked out the door, my parents and sister followed shortly behind. I was going to 8th grade b'not at the kollel to chill wif my friends, but my sister was going to her b'not which was at the shul across town. When we reached the part of the road where we'd need to seperate, my mom told me firmly:
"You'd better leave b'nos early to get her!"
I gulped.
I was not, not in a bazillion years, gonna leave b'not early. The thing's only an hour long for heaven's sake! It's like a twenty minute walk (and in cold cold weather whilst wearing a tiny jumper!), and that cut my small amount of awesome time with my friends in half! So I kept going to the kollel, which luckily, wasn't too far from the goldners'. But the wind was not easy on my legs. Yeesh! I shrank behind my purple scarf, but nothing really helped. I say, even now in the safety of my brown comfy chair with my warm laptop and gad elbaz streaming into my ears, that the wind was brutal just for me. Soon, I reached the kollel (meeting a friend on the way, heading to the same place) so we went in together.

It was a full house, but our councelor hadn't actually prepared anything, since the whole thing had been on pretty short notice so we just played freeze and justify, which I found out I am insanely good at (and then some).

For those of you who don't know, here's how to play and some examples of what we did:

Two people go up and perform a skit they made up on the spot (not unlike 'who's line is it anyway', which is where I got all my exp.) Then, someone says 'Freeze' and they have to stop in whatever pose they're in. Someone says 'justify so and so', and that person has to change the skit completely, and it can't be related at all to the last one. Here:

First skit: Me and a friend

Me: *looking on ground* hey, see that!
F.: what?
Me: *picks up an invisible object from floor* I think it's a coin!
F.: then it's mukzah!
Me: no, take a closer look (cups hands and holds them up to her)
OF: FREEZE. Justify iguana.
Me: *puppy eyes* can I have a little more?
F.: Uh, a little more what? I think I'm out.
Me: Please? (puts down bowl and leans against wall)
F.: Uhm...(she said something funny, but i don't remember whut she said)
Me: (puts hands on legs while leaning against wall)
OF: freeze! Justify iguana
Me: I think I pulled it..
F.: What?
Me: My leg, it really hurts (bends over)..do you have something I could use on it, or an excersize you could recommend?
F.:well i tink I have some cream...
Me: you put cream on your aching joints...?

and so and so on. Sooner or later, these other girls came on that were fantastic! But I don't want to go too far in. Almost immediately after we started playing, it was 3:30 already, so I went to get little sis from the shul. I knew I'd be pretty late, but it wouldn't kill her to wait a little, since she already tried to ruin my fun at b'not. I was pretty hot, since the room was small and heated pretty well, and I'd really been enjoying myself. So the cold didn't bother me. I made it to the shul in record time, only fifteen minutes late. But after scouring the whole place, I saw my sis wasn't here...And that would be prob-la-ma-tic.

"Someone must've walked her home." I thought out loud ( i do dat a lot) "They saw no one was coming and walked her home. Probably a councelor. Well, that's just great! I'm only fifteen minutes late! Don't these people wait?!"

So I started home, and walking pretty fast.

"If someone walked her home, that means my mom had to wake up and open the door for them, cuz littles sister doesn't have the key..That means not only did she have to cut her nap short, but she KNOWS I disobeyed her! Deliberately, no doubt!" I walked a bit faster.

"Or maybe a carpool decided to take her where they were going...Maybe she's at Raymond's with her friends...Maybe she decided to walk home herself and something happened to her....Man, I wonder what my mom's going to do when she finds out....Maybe she'll make me go to bed at like seven or something...No, I can't do that. Not possible. I'd just wait till she went to bed and get up and play mindless video games all night."

The whole thing reminded me of an episode of Sailor Moon where Sailor Moon was supposed to pick up her little cousin from her swim class, but she was a little late so the kid tried to walk herself home and it was storming so she got really lost.. (cept she was really Sailor Moon's daughter from the future, not to mention the only heir to the White thrown, so there were all types of people from the future tracking her down and trying to kill her, which didn't make me feel any better about MY situation, but it probably didn't apply).

I was nearly home when I saw two figures about a block ahead of me. They looked like kids of my little sis's grade, which made me feel better.

"Not everyone's gone home yet! Those could be kids from sister's b'not!"

But as I got closer, I recognized the coats the figures were wearing, and they seemed to grow taller.

"Wait a minute," I said out loud, "That's M. and T. (not saying their names, they won't appreciate it. Child, u know who I mean) ! But...are they going to my house? Well, that's not gonna work, I'm not home!"

I began to run. I saw them turn around the corner.

"Wait, they could just be going to M's house....but that's really far away from T's house and shabbat ends in two hours. They wouldn't be there that long..." They passed a girl coming my direction. I concurred they must be going to my house, so I ran faster.

"Are they going to my house?!?" I yelled at the girl (she knows me) as I ran past. She shrugged. I managed to catch up with them just as they were walking away from my house, after knocking and not getting any reply.

"There you are!" M said.
"Yeah, I've been searching the whole city for my little sister." I explained, "I didn't find her at the shul...I don't know where she is..."
"Well, why don't you just go inside and warm up?" M. suggested.
"Is the door open?" I asked, and leaned on the door. It opened right away, curiously. I went inside. Gazing over the living room, I happened to notice the brown chair was rocking incredibely fast, as if someone had just jumped out of it....

"SURPRISE!" Yelled my little sister.
"You're HERE?!" I shrieked, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"
"I went home with mommy," she said.
"Mommy took you home from b'not?" gulp. Not good...then she'd know I never showed up.
"No, I didn't go to bnos at all. I didn't want to."
"Buh...uh...er..." My eyes crossed.

I fell over.


so the story ends. I coudn't feel my legs for an hour, but my friends and I played games and ate cake. Then they stayed over after shabbat and we watched Taylor Swift music videos. It was good times....

Till later, folks!
Rubbing her sore eyebrows (just got plucked),
iguana :{